Junkie thinking took over. I need to get over junkie thinking. I have to get over smoking. I know i have to. Its not as hard as it seems. It might not seem easy but it is. I just have to try. Long enough. But its been long now. I decided to quit Jan 1st, I decided to quit May 14th. I dint smoke for two days. I should stop. In fact I shouldn't think of stopping smoking. I should think of something else that'll keep my thoughts focused.
What else will I take seriously? This opens up a whole new chapter. What do I need to do? I will obviously miss smoking cos its turned into a habit of two years now. I should give my self a break. Who am I kidding?
I am close to finishing another pack of Turkish Golds now. Aaargh!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Junkie Thinking
I gave into junkie thinking and smoked two cigs yesterday and one today. I have start all over again.
Sadly, its giving me a thrill, knowing i have to start over again. I think i know what my problem is. I find a source of real happiness and try to make it happen again and again.
I dont realize that the fun i get from the source is valid only for once. :)
Sadly, its giving me a thrill, knowing i have to start over again. I think i know what my problem is. I find a source of real happiness and try to make it happen again and again.
I dont realize that the fun i get from the source is valid only for once. :)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Urge #4,5 and 6
I had two more really strong urges to smoke a cigarette. I really hope I don't puff another smoke ever.
I just ate now and I have a really strong urge to smoke. I don't know what to do. It's driving me nuts.
I just ate now and I have a really strong urge to smoke. I don't know what to do. It's driving me nuts.
Milestone #3
Its 11 AM and i quit at 7.30 PM.
Milestone 3 reached.
8 hours after quitting, the level of carbon monoxide in your blood drops as the oxygen increases to the normal level of a non-smoker. This is one of the best advantages of quitting smoking, as carbon monoxide robs your muscles, brain and tissues of oxygen.
Milestone 3 reached.
8 hours after quitting, the level of carbon monoxide in your blood drops as the oxygen increases to the normal level of a non-smoker. This is one of the best advantages of quitting smoking, as carbon monoxide robs your muscles, brain and tissues of oxygen.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
reflections
I don't want to cause permanent damage to my vision and go blind.
I don't want to lose my leg(either one) to gangrene.
I want my hands to do my guitaring for a longtime without tiring.
I don't want my lungs to look like burnt crap.
I want to be able to sing like I used to before.
I don't want to lose my leg(either one) to gangrene.
I want my hands to do my guitaring for a longtime without tiring.
I don't want my lungs to look like burnt crap.
I want to be able to sing like I used to before.
Milestone #2
2 hours:
I quit at 7.30ish this evening. It has been 2.5 hours since with two real urges to smoke.
I think that's not too bad.For which I am grateful obviously.
Sigh. I wish i made a cent every time i have a smoking urge.
I quit at 7.30ish this evening. It has been 2.5 hours since with two real urges to smoke.
I think that's not too bad.For which I am grateful obviously.
Sigh. I wish i made a cent every time i have a smoking urge.
Junkie Thinking
Junkie Thinking
Think "just one" won't hurt? Think again!
JUNKIE THINKING: "One Puff won't hurt"
RESPONSE: "One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm
not a social smoker. One puff and I'll be smoking compulsively again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I only want one."
RESPONSE: "I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day,
every day. I want them all."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just be a social smoker."
RESPONSE: "I'm a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one, I'll
quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or
leave it. That's not me!"
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now."
RESPONSE: "The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken
the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore. I'll be
smoking again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just stop again."
RESPONSE: "Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it
took me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take
before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm
back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever
be able to stop again?"
JUNKIE THINKING: "If I slip, I'll keep trying."
RESPONSE: "If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now I'll
think I can get away with another little "slip" later on. And the
slipping will get stronger and the trying will get weaker"
JUNKIE THINKING: "I need one to get me through this withdrawal."
RESPONSE: "Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not
smoking. It will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process
of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I miss smoking right now."
RESPONSE: "Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most
of my life. But do I miss the chest pains right now? Do I miss the
worry, the embarrassment? I'l rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional
desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing
it."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I really need to smoke now, I'm so upset (or
depressed, or whatever)."
RESPONSE: "Smoking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset or
depressed or whatever, I'll just be an upset/depressed smoker. I never
have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need, it's a want. Once the
crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not smoking."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm Bored"
RESPONSE: Smoking is an "activity" or "something to do" only for
smokers. I'm really not "doing" anything when I smoke except still
sitting/standing there. The rest of the world survives occasional
boredom quite well without inhaling life-challenging chemicals.
JUNKIE THINKING: "But they've been smoking on TV and in the movies for
years! There are even magazines devoted to tobacco products!
RESPONSE: "That's right. They were on TV for years, I wasn't. I'm still
alive; many of them aren't and they departed this vale of tears in
prolonged and painful ways. And the smiling faces in the magazines now
are risking painful and disfiguring surgery later, at which point they
won't be smiling at all."
JUNKIE THINKING: "Its so nice to go out for a 'breath of fresh air' and
a cigarette."
RESPONSE: "Fresh air? I've got to be kidding. And face it, sunny days
are one thing, but how many days do I huddle out in the rain with the
rain hitting the cigarette and turning the cigarette paper that
disgusting yellow color? How many times is it windy and it takes forever
to keep a match or lighter lit long enough to light the cigarette, and
then how often does a gust of wind come up and blow the ashes into my
eyes? And when its icy outside, freezing my face off is bad enough, but
when it defrosts, there's this bizarre yellow condensation around my
nostrils. Now THAT'S attractive."
JUNKIE THINKING: "Smoking makes work go faster."
RESPONSE: "Most jobs where you work indoors are in companies which ban
smoking in the workplace. Some companies won't hire me if I smoke. And everytime I stop for a smoke it actually prolongs my work, since I'm not busy accomplishing it."
http://www.diaryofaquitter.com/junkie.htm
Think "just one" won't hurt? Think again!
JUNKIE THINKING: "One Puff won't hurt"
RESPONSE: "One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm
not a social smoker. One puff and I'll be smoking compulsively again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I only want one."
RESPONSE: "I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day,
every day. I want them all."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just be a social smoker."
RESPONSE: "I'm a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one, I'll
quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or
leave it. That's not me!"
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now."
RESPONSE: "The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken
the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore. I'll be
smoking again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just stop again."
RESPONSE: "Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it
took me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take
before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm
back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever
be able to stop again?"
JUNKIE THINKING: "If I slip, I'll keep trying."
RESPONSE: "If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now I'll
think I can get away with another little "slip" later on. And the
slipping will get stronger and the trying will get weaker"
JUNKIE THINKING: "I need one to get me through this withdrawal."
RESPONSE: "Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not
smoking. It will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process
of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I miss smoking right now."
RESPONSE: "Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most
of my life. But do I miss the chest pains right now? Do I miss the
worry, the embarrassment? I'l rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional
desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing
it."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I really need to smoke now, I'm so upset (or
depressed, or whatever)."
RESPONSE: "Smoking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset or
depressed or whatever, I'll just be an upset/depressed smoker. I never
have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need, it's a want. Once the
crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not smoking."
JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm Bored"
RESPONSE: Smoking is an "activity" or "something to do" only for
smokers. I'm really not "doing" anything when I smoke except still
sitting/standing there. The rest of the world survives occasional
boredom quite well without inhaling life-challenging chemicals.
JUNKIE THINKING: "But they've been smoking on TV and in the movies for
years! There are even magazines devoted to tobacco products!
RESPONSE: "That's right. They were on TV for years, I wasn't. I'm still
alive; many of them aren't and they departed this vale of tears in
prolonged and painful ways. And the smiling faces in the magazines now
are risking painful and disfiguring surgery later, at which point they
won't be smiling at all."
JUNKIE THINKING: "Its so nice to go out for a 'breath of fresh air' and
a cigarette."
RESPONSE: "Fresh air? I've got to be kidding. And face it, sunny days
are one thing, but how many days do I huddle out in the rain with the
rain hitting the cigarette and turning the cigarette paper that
disgusting yellow color? How many times is it windy and it takes forever
to keep a match or lighter lit long enough to light the cigarette, and
then how often does a gust of wind come up and blow the ashes into my
eyes? And when its icy outside, freezing my face off is bad enough, but
when it defrosts, there's this bizarre yellow condensation around my
nostrils. Now THAT'S attractive."
JUNKIE THINKING: "Smoking makes work go faster."
RESPONSE: "Most jobs where you work indoors are in companies which ban
smoking in the workplace. Some companies won't hire me if I smoke. And everytime I stop for a smoke it actually prolongs my work, since I'm not busy accomplishing it."
http://www.diaryofaquitter.com/junkie.htm
Urge #1.
First urge after I officially decided to quit smoking. - A few minutes ago.
When I was thinking about music theory and how i should make a lesson to pass on what I've learnt.
When I was thinking about music theory and how i should make a lesson to pass on what I've learnt.
Milestone #1
20 mins since i quit.
SO far, it been good.
Milestone:
your blood pressure has already decreased, your pulse rate has dropped and the blood temperature of your hands and feet has increased.
SO far, it been good.
Milestone:
your blood pressure has already decreased, your pulse rate has dropped and the blood temperature of your hands and feet has increased.
Motivation.
20 minutes after you quit, your blood pressure has already decreased, your pulse rate has dropped and the blood temperature of your hands and feet has increased.
2 hours after quitting, you have significantly reduced the nicotine in your system.
8 hours after quitting, the level of carbon monoxide in your blood drops as the oxygen increases to the normal level of a non-smoker. This is one of the best advantages of quitting smoking, as carbon monoxide robs your muscles, brain and tissues of oxygen.
At 24 hours, your chance of a heart attack has already decreased.
At 48 hours. These will make you smile... a couple of nice little health benefits of quitting smoking are that you will find your sense of smell improved, and as those sensitive nerve endings start regrowing, your taste buds will come alive again.
In 2 to 4 days, all nicotine by-products have gone from your body. That means there is no physical addictive substance left to niggle your brain.
Between 2 to 9 weeks, your circulation improves, walking and exercise will become easier and your lung function increases.
By 3 months, your fertility improves. This is an oft overlooked reason to quit smoking. Men's quality and density of sperm increases and women's chances of conceiving are increased, with less likelihood of miscarriage, or giving birth to babies with higher risks of stillbirth, cot death, premature or low birth weight and lifelong afflictions.
By now, the tar stains on your fingers and teeth will be eliminated.
Within the first 9 months, you will find that you no longer suffer from shortness of breath, and coughing, sinus congestion or fatigue will be rapidly improved.
By 1 year your risk of coronary heart disease is already half that of a smoker!
Also by now, due to increased oxygen, you will have noticeable improvement in your skin and gums. The oxygen goes towards repairing dry skin and premature wrinkles.
After 5 years the risk of lung cancer drops by half. Also your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas rapidly decreases. And every day thereafter these lifesaving health benefits of quitting smoking increase.
In 5 to 15 years, you will have no higher risk of stroke than that of people who have never smoked!
By 10 years, your chances of coronary heart disease will be virtually the same as that of people who have never smoked. In fact your risk of an early death from all causes virtually disappears and returns to that of people who have never smoked.
Did you know that only 12% of smokers can expect to live to 85, as compared to 69% of non-smokers? Why risk losing even one year of life or being one of the statistical average of smokers and lose 10 years? Or 25 years? Why risk an average of 12 years disability before you die?
If you quit before age 35 your risk is reduced by a dramatic 90% or more, and even if you're over 65 and you quit, your quality of life and life expectancy is significantly increased.
http://www.quitguide.com/benefits-of-quitting-smoking.html
2 hours after quitting, you have significantly reduced the nicotine in your system.
8 hours after quitting, the level of carbon monoxide in your blood drops as the oxygen increases to the normal level of a non-smoker. This is one of the best advantages of quitting smoking, as carbon monoxide robs your muscles, brain and tissues of oxygen.
At 24 hours, your chance of a heart attack has already decreased.
At 48 hours. These will make you smile... a couple of nice little health benefits of quitting smoking are that you will find your sense of smell improved, and as those sensitive nerve endings start regrowing, your taste buds will come alive again.
In 2 to 4 days, all nicotine by-products have gone from your body. That means there is no physical addictive substance left to niggle your brain.
Between 2 to 9 weeks, your circulation improves, walking and exercise will become easier and your lung function increases.
By 3 months, your fertility improves. This is an oft overlooked reason to quit smoking. Men's quality and density of sperm increases and women's chances of conceiving are increased, with less likelihood of miscarriage, or giving birth to babies with higher risks of stillbirth, cot death, premature or low birth weight and lifelong afflictions.
By now, the tar stains on your fingers and teeth will be eliminated.
Within the first 9 months, you will find that you no longer suffer from shortness of breath, and coughing, sinus congestion or fatigue will be rapidly improved.
By 1 year your risk of coronary heart disease is already half that of a smoker!
Also by now, due to increased oxygen, you will have noticeable improvement in your skin and gums. The oxygen goes towards repairing dry skin and premature wrinkles.
After 5 years the risk of lung cancer drops by half. Also your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas rapidly decreases. And every day thereafter these lifesaving health benefits of quitting smoking increase.
In 5 to 15 years, you will have no higher risk of stroke than that of people who have never smoked!
By 10 years, your chances of coronary heart disease will be virtually the same as that of people who have never smoked. In fact your risk of an early death from all causes virtually disappears and returns to that of people who have never smoked.
Did you know that only 12% of smokers can expect to live to 85, as compared to 69% of non-smokers? Why risk losing even one year of life or being one of the statistical average of smokers and lose 10 years? Or 25 years? Why risk an average of 12 years disability before you die?
If you quit before age 35 your risk is reduced by a dramatic 90% or more, and even if you're over 65 and you quit, your quality of life and life expectancy is significantly increased.
http://www.quitguide.com/benefits-of-quitting-smoking.html
I decided to quit.
My last smoke.
Parliaments.
I have decided that I wont smoke another puff. Ever.
Time: 7.25 PM, Tuesday, May 26th 2010.
Location: 3233 Powelton Ave. Philadelphia, PA.
Parliaments.
I have decided that I wont smoke another puff. Ever.
Time: 7.25 PM, Tuesday, May 26th 2010.
Location: 3233 Powelton Ave. Philadelphia, PA.
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