After effects.

Junkie thinking took over. I need to get over junkie thinking. I have to get over smoking. I know i have to. Its not as hard as it seems. It might not seem easy but it is. I just have to try. Long enough. But its been long now. I decided to quit Jan 1st, I decided to quit May 14th. I dint smoke for two days. I should stop. In fact I shouldn't think of stopping smoking. I should think of something else that'll keep my thoughts focused.

What else will I take seriously? This opens up a whole new chapter. What do I need to do? I will obviously miss smoking cos its turned into a habit of two years now. I should give my self a break. Who am I kidding?

I am close to finishing another pack of Turkish Golds now. Aaargh!

Junkie Thinking

I gave into junkie thinking and smoked two cigs yesterday and one today. I have start all over again.


Sadly, its giving me a thrill, knowing i have to start over again. I think i know what my problem is. I find a source of real happiness and try to make it happen again and again.


I dont realize that the fun i get from the source is valid only for once. :)

Urge #4,5 and 6

I had two more really strong urges to smoke a cigarette. I really hope I don't puff another smoke ever.

I just ate now and I have a really strong urge to smoke. I don't know what to do. It's driving me nuts.

Urge #3

It was after I put my guitar down.

Milestone #3

Its 11 AM and i quit at 7.30 PM.

Milestone 3 reached.

8 hours after quitting, the level of carbon monoxide in your blood drops as the oxygen increases to the normal level of a non-smoker. This is one of the best advantages of quitting smoking, as carbon monoxide robs your muscles, brain and tissues of oxygen.

reflections

I don't want to cause permanent damage to my vision and go blind.

I don't want to lose my leg(either one) to gangrene.

I want my hands to do my guitaring for a longtime without tiring.

I don't want my lungs to look like burnt crap.

I want to be able to sing like I used to before.

Milestone #2

2 hours:

I quit at 7.30ish this evening. It has been 2.5 hours since with two real urges to smoke.

I think that's not too bad.For which I am grateful obviously.

Sigh. I wish i made a cent every time i have a smoking urge.